Happiest Fridaaaaaay!
The year is 2022 and that, in my celebratory book, marks the return of holiday travel + parties sans strands (especially 2021’s Scrooge, Omicron). Though solo for the majority of it, last Christmas will likely always rise to the top of my favorite New York memories. Dinner with a book in The West Village turned into ending the night at a Pieces drag show with another party-of-one (hi, Jen)! So unexpected and, yes, so New York. So much so that I was second-guessing making plans to return to the Midwest this year. Alas, I head back to Minneapolis next week where Friday’s high is -4 degrees.
Hanukkah starts Sunday, Christmas is in 9 days, and NYE is a short two weeks away. This week’s newsletter is dedicated to sharing the things that I have learned (even if I don’t always apply them) about hosting and being hosted.
On Hosting
When ideating how I want people to feel when they walk into a space, I like to consider the five senses. A sensory-hostezzzz, if you will! What will people smell, taste, see, hear, feel?
Smell: It could be brussel sprouts or a Byredo Candle! In either case - your guests will remember what your space smelled like (and so will their coat). Personally, I’m partial to a good candle but simmering something on the stove will do! A friend and I hosted a holiday party with some coworkers last week and I had a TJ’s Balsam Fir candle in tow just in case. Another cost-effective hack is to buy votive candles and disperse them throughout your space.
Taste: What your guests will taste is unsurprisingly the top sense that we think about when hosting. No matter the main; snacks + sips are important 2 meee. Pitted olives, potato chips, nuts, and something chocolatey are great plays no matter what is being served otherwise! The salty grabs will usually complement whatever they’re drinking.
Depending on how many people you’re hosting - a batched cocktail or a bev station is a great idea. My bestie recently started making and selling her own drink mixes! They make a great cocktail or a v fancy mocktail when paired with something fizzy. Overall, my fave party trick is to send people home with can of seltzer water at the end of the night.
See: There are the things you want to see in somebody else’s space: the vintage frame, fun serveware, their favorite coffee table book, etc. and then there are things that you don’t want to see in somebody else’s space: dirty laundry, stockpiled cardboard boxes, a full litter box, an empty toilet paper roll - you get the gist. Nobody is above the shove-all-the-shit-in-the-closet trick. We’ll also throw lighting into this category. Overhead lighting is generally a vibe killer. Target sells $5-10 lamps that I plug in all over so that my canned lighting stays … canned. I’ve included a couple of recent lighting inspo pics below!
Hear: Not too loud, not too soft, not too niche, not too top-40. The rest is up to you. Might I add, there is no shame in finding somebody else’s spotify playlist and using that for the evening. If you, unlike me, are not particular about this aspect - delegate the aux duties to a friend!
Feel: Feel as in touch not as in ~feels~, here. If the environment doesn’t feel cozy, it doesn’t feel like me. I like to make sure that people have a soft throw blanket within reach and a sturdy place to set their drink for when they are starting to talk with their hands too much. Lastly, a chic, clean, and soft hand towel in the bathroom is a worthy touch.
Guest Work
Showing gratitude rather than solely saying thank you will go far for a host! To think about:
A gift: Anything! A handwritten card, something for their bar cart, candles, tooth-pick holder - you name it. I like to gift something useful but chic. My go-to in the past has been the over-priced bottle of soap that somebody wouldn’t normally buy for themselves.
Dishes: Without rushing the night, jump in and wash some dishes when the time is right! This goes such a long way.
Next-day-text: When the mess has disappeared and I’m back in the swing of things, there’s nothing better than knowing that people are still thinking about how much fun they had the night before! Extra cute if you mention something specific about the evening.
Finally, if there is a Venn diagram of being a host and being a guest, the middle part would read: “shoes?’’. It wasn’t until I left Minnesota that I realized some people actually let people wear their outside shoes inside. In the midwest, this has to do with not tracking salt and snow into the house. In New York, it is a matter of what you stepped (or slid) in that day. With that risk and wanting people to feel comfortable, I normally side with Roddy Rich when he says, “B*tch don't wear any shoes in my house”. While this battle is inevitably lost as the party grows in size, I just make sure to keep Swiffer pads stocked!! For longer-hosted events or winter nights, I may or may not have my fave house shoes in my bag.
Hosting - a joy for some and a feat for others - is really in the details. In the same breath, opening your space to others is a gift in and of itself these days, so take the pressure off!
Hoping you all have a lovely weekeeeeend. I’ll be cookie-ing, wishing the rain away, and hopefully starting White Lotus once and for all (a vulnerable confession). Text me what Santa brings you!
WFIM,
Josie